This lays out a remedy for that floaty feeling of fear when you are at the podium or about to contribute in the meeting
First and Foremost - to be able to catch it in the moment. To have the realization of - this is it, this is that moment! (It’s a little like trying to catch a tiger by the tail.) Of realizing you are doing actively doing the very thing you are trying not to do - that moment where the adrenaline sweeps you away, where sensation races through your body and your mind shuts down.
It’s the stuff navy seals train for: Control in the center of Crisis. Self-mastery in moments of madness.
Now, we - that is, most of us civilians - the scariest thing we’re gonna do is be at a podium or in the spotlight at company meetings. These moments can fill us with such dread and distress that we’ll turn down opportunities that would be good for our career, our pocketbooks or personal growth - just so we don’t have to experience that excruciating pain - and in front of others.
Okay, maybe it’s not that bad, for you. Maybe it’s just annoying and frustrating and you’re fed up with the parts of you that don’t seem to want to fall in line with the program. Either way here’s what you do if you catch it in the moment:
Take a big, deep breath.
Really.
It sounds so simple - to take a breath.
But sometimes it’s the hardest thing in the world. When you realize you are in that moment - where you are about to escape, where your conscious is about to leave the room and panic is about to overtake you - take a breath. And let it out s l o w Stop the moment for just a moment. As you take the breath, do the next step:
2. Drop into your Heels.
In fact, try this one right now. Drop your awareness into the heels of your feet.
If you haven’t ever had the experience of intentionally pressing your weight in the soles of your feet, or doing heel drops of any sort, this would be a good moment to do it. If you have had that experience - as all of my clients have - then just drop your awareness into your feet. You might, almost unconsciously find yourself pressing into your heels as you’re reading this. Or maybe, as you are lying in bed, you briefly checked in with the bottoms of your feet. You know, that place where we connect to the ground! Quite literally, feel the ground beneath your feet. Or the chair beneath your seat.
This sends a silent and powerful message to your body that you are, in fact, grounded. Not floating off in space or disconnected from the room. It also interrupts the panicky and anxious thoughts gathering in your head. Or wakes you up from the blankness, as the case may be. This slight physical action takes your awareness in a completely different direction entirely.
3. Realign to your Intention
By taking that micro- moment, a breath, a beat - you create a space refer to your speaker notes - if you brought them with you Or if you’re sitting at the table, this supplies that nano-second to refresh yourself on your goals and purpose of the meeting (which you are clear on, because you did the prep work that all my clients are encouraged to do). This is the whole point and purpose of the dynamics of confidence: power and clarity and purpose, isn’t it? To be clear in purpose and on purpose in the moments that require them the most?
That’s it.
Pretty simple isn’t it?
Except incredibly difficult to manage it in the moment.
Instead, we often find ourselves stumbling, lost in the weeds, feeling like a dweeb as we quietly loose steam.
Or petrified of saying yes to anything that might put us in the position of feeling that awful feeling. Those sensations that race through our body, shut down our minds and strangle our breath and throat. For some, the nausea at the mere thought of being on stage, on the spot, in the hot seat.
But inevitably that time will come.
That experience - the surge of adrenalin, a teeny moment of fight or flight that takes us off-line - is natural. Sometimes the size of the response is bigger than the moment needs. We call this an over-reaction. But if you are experiencing a surge of adrenalin and want to learn how to better manage it, then following these tips and watching this video about the Fear of Public Speaking is a great remedy for it. Which brings me to the last tip…
How to Practice:
In the mundane and normal everyday, develop a practice of doing these 3 things: intentionally taking a breath, in random spots, drop into your heels and occasionally call to mind your intention.
In any given moment these three tiny things are accessible to you.
These tiny actions, practiced over time, will help you stay more present, more connected to the present and more in command of yourself and the space. One way to do this is to set an alarm on your phone. Better yet - set 4. Do it for a day, a week or for 6 months to really make the method stick. And when that alarm goes off - take a breath, drop into your body and realign to intention.
And so may it be.
